This page will contain videos about the onion, as they become available.The OnionThe Onion is a parody newspaper published weekly in print and on the Internet. It contains satirical articles as well as a general entertainment section. As of May 2005 its print editions are distributed in Madison, Milwaukee, New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis-St. Paul, Denver/Boulder, and San Francisco. The Onion's articles comment on current events, both real and imagined (an example of the latter: "All Americans Issued Life Jackets for Some Reason"). It parodies traditional newspaper features and styles. The paper often reports on everyday events in a sensationalistic manner ("Area Man Confounded by Buffet Procedure"). Obsession with fame and celebrity are frequently satirized, as well as the general credulousness of the public. The second half of the newspaper is a non-satirical — but still often humorous — entertainment section called The A.V. Club that features interviews, reviews of various newly-released media, and other weekly features. The print edition also contains previews of upcoming live entertainment specific to cities where a print edition is published. The online incarnation of The A.V. Club has its own domain, includes its own regular features (including weekly sex advice column Savage Love), A.V. Club blogs and reader forums, and presents itself as an almost-separate entity from The Onion itself. Regular features of The Onion include:
The newspaper was revamped on August 31, 2005, which changed the layout of the website homepage. As well:
The staff of the Onion have also produced numerous books, including Our Dumb Century, Finest News Reporting, and Dispatches from the Tenth Circle. Both print and online editions of The Onion are published on Wednesdays. Reporters and editorsThe Onion's fictional editor is T. Herman Zweibel (Zwiebel is German for onion), who has "held the position since 1901" and is rather insane; the real editor is currently Scott Dikkers, the managing editor is Peter Koechley, and the current writing staff comprises Todd Hanson, Maria Schneider, John Krewson, Joe Garden, and Chris Karwowski, as well as the graphics work of Mike Loew and Chad Nackers. Past writers have included Max Cannon, Rich Dahm, Tim Harrod, David Javerbaum, Ben Karlin, Carol Kolb, Robert Siegel, and Jack Szwergold. Each issue features columns by (fictional) regular and guest writers. The regular contributors include:
HistoryThe Onion was founded in 1988 and originally published in Madison, Wisconsin by two juniors at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson; they sold it to colleagues the following year. The Onion remained a regional success until it began its website in 1996. A possible origin for its name is a mispronunciation of "The Union", which is a fairly common name for a legitimate paper. In early 2001, the company relocated its offices to New York City. As of 2004 the paper's founders are publishers of other weeklies: Keck of the Seattle weekly The Stranger and Johnson of Albuquerque's Weekly Alibi. In late August 2005, The Onion's companion website The Onion A.V. Club relaunched in a new design which presents the content as almost entirely discrete from The Onion itself. Simultaneously The Onion discontinued their Premium Service which charged readers a substantial fee for additional content and vintage archives. This brings The Onion back to the open state it was in prior to April 2004 when the restrictive move towards a Premium Service was first initiated. Awards and nominationsThe Onion's graphic for its coverage of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.The Onion's coverage of the September 11, 2001 attacks less than two weeks following the attacks was one of the earliest satirical reactions to those attacks, and was considered for a Pulitzer Prize. The Onion taken too seriouslyUpon occasion the straight-faced manner in which the Onion reports non-existent happenings has resulted in outside parties mistakenly citing Onion stories as real news. In 1998, controversial minister Fred Phelps posted the Onion article '98 Homosexual-recruitment drive nearing goal on his God Hates Fags website as proof that homosexuals were indeed actively trying to get straight people to join their ranks. Just after the 2000 U.S. Presidential election, when the future President remained undetermined, the Onion published a story titled Bush or Gore: "A New Era Dawns" which parodied the similarities between the two politicians. The noteworthiness of this story was largely a matter of luck: the paper went to press election night, before the contested election results which led to Bush v. Gore. As the recount process unfolded, the Onion published a satirical issue reporting chaos in America, in which Serbia sent peacekeepers to the U.S. to introduce democracy and protect their interests in the region, Bill Clinton declared himself "President for life.", Bob Dole was shot, and Tipper Gore was being held hostage. On June 7, 2002, Reuters reported that the Beijing Evening News republished, in the international news page of its June 3 edition, translated portions of Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built (they were apparently unaware of The Onion's satirical nature). The story discusses the U.S. Congress's threats to leave Washington for Memphis, Tennessee or Charlotte, North Carolina unless Washington, DC built them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome. The article is a parody of U.S. sports franchises' threats to leave their home city unless new stadiums are built for them. The Evening News is Beijing's most popular newspaper, claiming a circulation of 1.25 million. In late March 2004, Deborah Norville of MSNBC presented as genuine an article entitled Study: 58 Percent Of U.S. Exercise Televised. [1] Columnist Ellen Makkai and others who believe the Harry Potter books recruit children to Satanism have also been taken in by The Onion's satire, using quotes from an Onion article as evidence for their claims. [2] [3] Recently, an article from The Onion appeared on the 2005 Advanced Placement English Language and Composition test, in which students were asked to write an essay analyzing its use of satire.[4] Presidential Seal ControversyIn September 2005, the assistant counsel to President George W. Bush, Grant M. Dixton, wrote a cease and desist letter to The Onion, asking the paper to stop using the presidential seal, which is used in an online segment poking fun at the President through parodies of his weekly radio address. The law governing the Presidential Seal is contained in TITLE 18, 713 and contains the section:
This section would seem to allow the use of the presidential seal by The Onion. However, by Executive Order President Richard Nixon specifically enumerated the allowed uses of the Presidential Seal which is more restictive than the above title (Ex. Ord. No. 11649), but which allows for exceptions to be granted upon formal request. The Onion has responded with a letter asking for formal use of the Seal in accordance with the Executive Order, while still declaring that the use is legitimate under Title 18, 713. The letter written by Rochelle H. Klaskin, the Onion's lawyer, is quoted in the New York Times as saying "It is inconceivable that anyone would think that, by using the seal, The Onion intends to 'convey... sponsorship or approval' by the president," referring to Title 18, 713, but then went on to ask that the letter be considered a formal application asking for permission to use the seal. InfluencesIn 1978 National Lampoon released the book "National Lampoon's Sunday Newspaper Parody" which was edited by P.J. O'Rourke and John Hughes. The book was an issue of the fictional "Ohio Republican-Democrat," a tabloid style newspaper. The paper contained all the usual sections found in most major newspapers (classified ads, Sunday magazines, sports, local news, comics) satirized with the anarchistic Lampoon sense of humor. While it is unknown if this book directly inspired/influenced The Onion's founders, it certainly shares similarities. Also, the National Lampoon crew has had a lasting influence on most American humorists, so it is not unlikely that The Onion's founders and staff had been influenced by them (considering that National Lampoon grew out of the college humor publication Harvard Lampoon and that The Onion also began as a college humor magazine.) Another popular send-up of the news that pre-dates The Onion is the Weekend Update segment on Saturday Night Live. References to The Onion in popular cultureMAD Magazine ran a parody of The Onion called "The Bunion" in one issue. Books
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MAD Magazine ran a parody of The Onion called "The Bunion" in one issue. Whether Legolas of Gondolin was of Noldorin or Sindarin descent is debatable. Another popular send-up of the news that pre-dates The Onion is the Weekend Update segment on Saturday Night Live. The Silmarillion, in describing Turgon's founding of Gondolin, states that Turgon took with him up to a third of the people under Fingolfin, but an even larger number of the Sindar. Also, the National Lampoon crew has had a lasting influence on most American humorists, so it is not unlikely that The Onion's founders and staff had been influenced by them (considering that National Lampoon grew out of the college humor publication Harvard Lampoon and that The Onion also began as a college humor magazine.). But the others, led by one Legolas Greenleaf of the house of the Tree, who knew all that plain by day or by dark, and was night-sighted, made much speed over the vale for all their weariness, and halted only after a great march. The paper contained all the usual sections found in most major newspapers (classified ads, Sunday magazines, sports, local news, comics) satirized with the anarchistic Lampoon sense of humor. His name (Laiqalassë in its pure form) comes from the primitive Quenya (Qenya) words laica, green, and lassë, leaf. The book was an issue of the fictional "Ohio Republican-Democrat," a tabloid style newspaper. The Legolas of Gondolin, who Tolkien would have likely renamed, has a different etymology. O'Rourke and John Hughes. Because Tolkien had reused the name in The Lord of the Rings, this Legolas was not included in the published Silmarillion. In 1978 National Lampoon released the book "National Lampoon's Sunday Newspaper Parody" which was edited by P.J. The character is mentioned only once and is unrelated to the character discussed above. sponsorship or approval' by the president," referring to Title 18, 713, but then went on to ask that the letter be considered a formal application asking for permission to use the seal. The name Legolas Greenleaf first appeared in The Fall of Gondolin, one of the "Lost Tales". Klaskin, the Onion's lawyer, is quoted in the New York Times as saying "It is inconceivable that anyone would think that, by using the seal, The Onion intends to 'convey.. No definitive evidence is given, either way. The letter written by Rochelle H. Thranduil did let him leave Mirkwood to found a new elf-community in Ithilien, suggesting to some that he was not his heir; but then others opine that given the longevity of Elves and the relative safety of Middle-earth after Sauron's downfall, Thranduil could go on ruling the Woodland Realm as long as he liked or until he felt the sea-longing. The Onion has responded with a letter asking for formal use of the Seal in accordance with the Executive Order, while still declaring that the use is legitimate under Title 18, 713. Some assume that he is an only child; however, he could be only one of Thranduil's children. 11649), but which allows for exceptions to be granted upon formal request. (Blond hair was mostly exclusive to the Vanyar.) However, the "blond" camp points out that the above quote takes place at night, and opines that his head may have appeared "dark" due to shadows, rather than his actual hair color. No. According to this camp, his hair must be either dark brown or black, as was the norm for the Sindar. Ord. However, Tolkien describes his head as "dark" when he shoots down a Ringwraith's fell beast in The Fellowship of the Ring in the following quote, suggesting the contrary to some:. However, by Executive Order President Richard Nixon specifically enumerated the allowed uses of the Presidential Seal which is more restictive than the above title (Ex. His father Thranduil was blond, so many assume that Legolas must have been blond also (Indeed, both Ralph Bakshi and Peter Jackson make him blond). This section would seem to allow the use of the presidential seal by The Onion. For them, this might be a sign that he was born in the First Age, since the Appendices only record dates from the Second Age onwards. Whoever knowingly displays any printed or other likeness of the great seal of the United States, or of the seals of the President or the Vice President of the United States, or the seal of the United States Senate, or the seal of the United States House of Representatives, or the seal of the United States Congress, or any facsimile thereof, in, or in connection with, any advertisement, poster, circular, book, pamphlet, or other publication, public meeting, play, motion picture, telecast, or other production, or on any building, monument, or stationery, for the purpose of conveying, or in a manner reasonably calculated to convey, a false impression of sponsorship or approval by the Government of the United States or by any department, agency, or instrumentality thereof, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both. (emphasis added). Also, some readers point out that his birthdate is not recorded in the Appendices. The law governing the Presidential Seal is contained in TITLE 18, 713 and contains the section:. However, even the minimum figure of 500 can still apply here, since Tolkien could have had the English oak in mind, and it can live up to about 500 years. Dixton, wrote a cease and desist letter to The Onion, asking the paper to stop using the presidential seal, which is used in an online segment poking fun at the President through parodies of his weekly radio address. Also, he speaks of watching oaks grow from acorns to "ruinous age", suggesting that he is in fact old, though possibly young for Elves (some kinds of oak can live for a very long time):. Bush, Grant M. He does call Aragorn (87) and Gimli (139) "children" while in Fangorn Forest, and says that he does not feel young:. In September 2005, the assistant counsel to President George W. It is certainly possible that he was older than what many fans imagine him to be, at least (probably due to the influence of Bloom and his portrayal). Recently, an article from The Onion appeared on the 2005 Advanced Placement English Language and Composition test, in which students were asked to write an essay analyzing its use of satire.[4]. At face value, his statement says nothing about his age - to go further would only be speculation. [2] [3]. However, he could be merely commenting on the contrasting viewpoints of Men and Elves on time ("and but a little while does that seem to us"); also, 500 years is here clearly the time elapsed since Meduseld was built. Columnist Ellen Makkai and others who believe the Harry Potter books recruit children to Satanism have also been taken in by The Onion's satire, using quotes from an Onion article as evidence for their claims. If we are to infer that Elves can have concrete memories at a younger age than humans do, Legolas could conceivably have remembered the last 500 autumns that have passed, starting when he was very young. [1]. By their first year, elf-children can already walk, speak, and even sing. Exercise Televised. In his essay Laws and Customs among the Eldar, found in Morgoth’s Ring, one of the volumes of The History of Middle-earth, Tolkien states that the mental development of elf-children is much quicker than those of human children. In late March 2004, Deborah Norville of MSNBC presented as genuine an article entitled Study: 58 Percent Of U.S. To see their reasoning for an age of 800-900 years, see the articles referred to below. The Evening News is Beijing's most popular newspaper, claiming a circulation of 1.25 million. The figure of 500 years minimum was derived from the following — at one point he says that the leaves have fallen in Mirkwood 500 times since Meduseld was built, and he appears to be describing it as if he actually experienced this:. sports franchises' threats to leave their home city unless new stadiums are built for them. While Legolas' age is never given in Tolkien's writings, some Tolkien scholars have estimated he is at the most 800–900 years old by the time of the War of the Ring, and at least 500, though probably more; however, many others disagree on the maximum figure. The article is a parody of U.S. He is absent from the 1980 animated version of The Return of the King. Congress's threats to leave Washington for Memphis, Tennessee or Charlotte, North Carolina unless Washington, DC built them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome. Legolas was voiced by David Collings in the BBC Radio 4 adaptation. The story discusses the U.S. However, many viewers have criticized his performance as wooden; ironically (and humorously, one might add), his character is fittingly a Wood-elf. Unless New Capitol Is Built (they were apparently unaware of The Onion's satirical nature). Although the disproportionate popular reaction to Legolas met with mixed reactions from fans, many debaters on the Internet during earlier stages of production were worried, like Tolkien's complaint above, that a film portrayal of Legolas might render him as far too effeminate for popular consumption, and many were simply happy that Orlando Bloom was able to avoid this entirely. On June 7, 2002, Reuters reported that the Beijing Evening News republished, in the international news page of its June 3 edition, translated portions of Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. His good looks and Legolas' "coolness", so to speak, as depicted in the film, have led to the character becoming a unprecedented fan favorite with both fangirls and fanboys, not to mention other Tolkien fans. to introduce democracy and protect their interests in the region, Bill Clinton declared himself "President for life.", Bob Dole was shot, and Tipper Gore was being held hostage. Playing Legolas in the trilogy was Orlando Bloom's breakout route to superstardom. As the recount process unfolded, the Onion published a satirical issue reporting chaos in America, in which Serbia sent peacekeepers to the U.S. This idea subsequently spread to fanfiction; however, it is pure fanon, and is nowhere to be found in Tolkien's writings, and is often simply meant as a joke; in any case, Elven eye color was most likely restricted to grey, as no other color is explicitly stated in Tolkien's writings. Gore. This was justified by the notion that Elves' eyes change colour with their mood. The noteworthiness of this story was largely a matter of luck: the paper went to press election night, before the contested election results which led to Bush v. Due to technical mishaps involving Orlando Bloom's contact lenses, in the films Legolas' eye colour sometimes changes between brown, purple, and blue. Presidential election, when the future President remained undetermined, the Onion published a story titled Bush or Gore: "A New Era Dawns" which parodied the similarities between the two politicians. Curiously, this directly contradicts The Hobbit, where his father's own servants are shown to pass out after drinking powerfully heady Dorwinion wine (a brief line in the same passage mentions that drinks must be "powerful indeed" to affect Elves, like the Dorwinion wine, but still this does nothing to validate the implication that it is impossible for Elves to become intoxicated). Just after the 2000 U.S. He wins, because Elves are not affected by alcohol. In 1998, controversial minister Fred Phelps posted the Onion article '98 Homosexual-recruitment drive nearing goal on his God Hates Fags website as proof that homosexuals were indeed actively trying to get straight people to join their ranks. In the Extended Edition of The Return of the King, Legolas and Gimli have a drinking contest at Meduseld after the events at Helm's Deep. Upon occasion the straight-faced manner in which the Onion reports non-existent happenings has resulted in outside parties mistakenly citing Onion stories as real news. He bears two long knives, while in the book he bears only one. The Onion's coverage of the September 11, 2001 attacks less than two weeks following the attacks was one of the earliest satirical reactions to those attacks, and was considered for a Pulitzer Prize. He wears green and grey clothes and uses boots, in contrast to Tolkien's "light shoes". This brings The Onion back to the open state it was in prior to April 2004 when the restrictive move towards a Premium Service was first initiated. The film-makers later stated that the entire scene of Legolas killing the Oliphaunt and its entire crew was filmed during pick-ups (months after original filming) to insert a major action scene showcasing him, because at that point they realized that he simply doesn't get to do much in the third part of the trilogy. Simultaneously The Onion discontinued their Premium Service which charged readers a substantial fee for additional content and vintage archives. Aside from shooting the fell beast, he undertakes no major actions other than to make peace with Gimli, overcoming their longstanding mutual racial animosity — he and Gimli are followers, rather than leaders. Club relaunched in a new design which presents the content as almost entirely discrete from The Onion itself. However, in the books Legolas's exploits in battle are not presented in great detail. In late August 2005, The Onion's companion website The Onion A.V. For example, in the Battle of the Hornburg, he slides down a staircase using a shield, shooting arrows all the while, and in the Battle of the Pelennor Fields, he takes down an Oliphaunt all by himself. As of 2004 the paper's founders are publishers of other weeklies: Keck of the Seattle weekly The Stranger and Johnson of Albuquerque's Weekly Alibi. He is presented as an unstoppable fighter, arguably to the point of stealing the show; he performs show-stopping yet implausible stunts in battle scenes. In early 2001, the company relocated its offices to New York City. Curiously, the year 2931 of the Third Age is the year Aragorn was born; the writers may have picked the number at random from the Tale of Years (the timeline) in the Appendices. A possible origin for its name is a mispronunciation of "The Union", which is a fairly common name for a legitimate paper. 3018. The Onion remained a regional success until it began its website in 1996. This date for Legolas' birth was made up by the movie writers, as in the books there are no known dates concerning Legolas before T.A. The Onion was founded in 1988 and originally published in Madison, Wisconsin by two juniors at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson; they sold it to colleagues the following year. This would make him 2931 years old at the time of the War of the Ring. The regular contributors include:. In the "official movie guide" for The Lord of the Rings, a birthdate for Legolas is set to 87 of the Third Age. Each issue features columns by (fictional) regular and guest writers. In Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movie trilogy (2001–2003), Legolas was portrayed by Orlando Bloom. Past writers have included Max Cannon, Rich Dahm, Tim Harrod, David Javerbaum, Ben Karlin, Carol Kolb, Robert Siegel, and Jack Szwergold. Here, he is apparently from Rivendell, because he answers to Elrond; he is not identified as a Wood-elf. Herman Zweibel (Zwiebel is German for onion), who has "held the position since 1901" and is rather insane; the real editor is currently Scott Dikkers, the managing editor is Peter Koechley, and the current writing staff comprises Todd Hanson, Maria Schneider, John Krewson, Joe Garden, and Chris Karwowski, as well as the graphics work of Mike Loew and Chad Nackers. In the film, he takes Glorfindel's place in the Flight to the Ford sequence; he meets Strider and the hobbits on their way to Rivendell, and sets Frodo on his horse before he is chased by the Nazgûl to the ford of Bruinen (In Peter Jackson's version, Arwen takes Glorfindel's place and rides to the Ford herself with Frodo). The Onion's fictional editor is T. Legolas was voiced by Anthony Daniels (who had voiced the droid C-3PO of Star Wars fame) in Ralph Bakshi's 1978 animated version of The Lord of the Rings. . In Sindarin, that would be Legolas Thranduilion, -ion meaning "son of". Both print and online editions of The Onion are published on Wednesdays. In English, therefore, a fuller name would be "Legolas son of Thranduil" or "Legolas Thranduil's son". The staff of the Onion have also produced numerous books, including Our Dumb Century, Finest News Reporting, and Dispatches from the Tenth Circle. Men and Elves alike used the patronymic (son of) formula. As well:. Apparently, only Hobbits (and the Men of Bree) used surnames (like Baggins or Gamgee), as recorded in the Red Book. The newspaper was revamped on August 31, 2005, which changed the layout of the website homepage. It may be that Thranduil named his son Legolas to at least in part refer to this people, who were remote kin and ancestors of the later Silvan Elves, the people Thranduil ruled and to whom - very likely - Thranduil's wife belonged. Regular features of The Onion include:. Calenhad, mutated Parth Galen and plural Pinnath Gelin) and is otherwise almost only preserved in Laegrim, Laegel(d)rim (Sindarin form of Quenya Laiquendi), the Green Elves of the First Age. Club blogs and reader forums, and presents itself as an almost-separate entity from The Onion itself. There might, however, be a certain meaning to his name: laeg is a very rare, archaic word for green, which is normally replaced by calen (cf. Club has its own domain, includes its own regular features (including weekly sex advice column Savage Love), A.V. The Quenya form (mentioned in the Book of Lost Tales in the context of another character of that name) is Laiqualassë. The online incarnation of The A.V. It consists of the Sindarin words laeg, green; and golas, a collection of leaves, foliage (being a prefixed collective form of las(s), leaf). The print edition also contains previews of upcoming live entertainment specific to cities where a print edition is published. The name Legolas is a Silvan dialect form of pure Sindarin Laegolas, which means Greenleaf (thus, Greenleaf is not his surname, as is sometimes erroneously believed; nor is it an epithet (like Oakenshield), but a translation of his name). Club that features interviews, reviews of various newly-released media, and other weekly features. Logically, as a retcon he could quite conceivably have been present in his father's halls at the time, and may have even fought at Erebor. The second half of the newspaper is a non-satirical — but still often humorous — entertainment section called The A.V. The events in The Hobbit take place less than one hundred years before the Quest of Mount Doom, and at that point Legolas was at least 500 years old, and possibly older. Obsession with fame and celebrity are frequently satirized, as well as the general credulousness of the public. However, some have theorized that he may well have fought in the Battle of the Five Armies. The paper often reports on everyday events in a sensationalistic manner ("Area Man Confounded by Buffet Procedure"). Of course, his character had not been created yet (though his name had; see below). It parodies traditional newspaper features and styles. Though his father and his kingdom appear in The Hobbit, he does not appear himself. The Onion's articles comment on current events, both real and imagined (an example of the latter: "All Americans Issued Life Jackets for Some Reason"). However, as given in Unfinished Tales, the author himself states that Legolas "probably accomplished the least of the Fellowship", compared to the rest (Frodo endured the Ring's temptations and took it to the Crack of Doom, Gandalf was an angelic agent from Valinor who worked against Sauron for centuries, Aragorn restored his ancestors' old kingdom, and even Merry helped kill the Witch-king, et cetera). Paul, Denver/Boulder, and San Francisco. 2), his father wrote the following comment protesting a "pretty" or "ladylike" illustration of Legolas:. As of May 2005 its print editions are distributed in Madison, Milwaukee, New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis-St. As Christopher Tolkien recounts in The Book of Lost Tales (Vol. It contains satirical articles as well as a general entertainment section. In Lothlórien, he receives a new longbow from the Galadhrim, along with the other gifts that Galadriel and Celeborn give him and the rest of the Fellowship, such as special cloaks and lembas. The Onion is a parody newspaper published weekly in print and on the Internet. As the Fellowship sets out, he is armed with a short bow, and a long knife. "Embedded in America": The Onion Ad Nauseam Complete News Archives Volume 16 (2005, ISBN 1400054567). Tolkien first describes him as "a strange Elf, clad in green and brown". "Fanfare for the Area Man": The Onion Ad Nauseam Complete News Archives Volume 15 (2004, ISBN 1400054559). The Sindarin minority in that realm, who should have been more noble and wise than the Silvan Elves, can be seen as having "gone native" at the end of the First Age: after Morgoth was defeated and all of the grand Elf-kingdoms of Beleriand were destroyed, they can be seen as going back to "a simpler time" in their culture. and Them": The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives Volume 14 (2003, ISBN 140004961X). A small minority of Sindarin Elves ruled the predominantly Silvan Woodland Realm of Northern Mirkwood, a minority which Thranduil headed. "Relations Break Down Between U.S. His father Thranduil had originally come from Doriath; he and his son were actually Sindarin Elves. The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives Volume 13 (2002, ISBN 1400047242). Although he lived among them and was exposed to their culture, Legolas was not one of the Silvan Elves (Wood-elves). Dispatches from the Tenth Circle: The Best of The Onion (2001, ISBN 0609808346). It is told in the Red Book (first written by Bilbo Baggins, continued by Frodo Baggins and supposedly finished by Samwise Gamgee) that after the death of King Elessar, Legolas builds a grey ship in Ithilien, and leaves Middle-earth to go over the Sea to Valinor, the Blessed Realm, and Gimli the Dwarf goes with him. The Onion's Finest News Reporting, Volume 1 (2000, ISBN 0609804634). Eventually, Legolas comes to Ithilien with some of his people, with his father's leave, to live out his remaining time in Middle-earth helping to restore the devastated forests of that war-ravaged land. Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source (1999, ISBN 0609804618). Later, Legolas and Gimli go off travelling together through Fangorn Forest. Gorzo the Mighty, the Emperor of the Universe, villain in the style of 1930s science fiction. After the destruction of the One Ring, he stays in Minas Tirith for some time, as Aragorn is crowned King of the Reunited Kingdom as King Elessar and marries his love Arwen. Jackie Harvey, a ridiculously uninformed media critic who writes the column The Outside Scoop. He fights in the Battles of the Pelennor Fields and the Morannon, and watches as Sauron is defeated and Barad-dûr collapses. Jean Teasdale, an overweight nerdish woman with kitsch tastes, whose constantly upbeat attitude always finds the bright side of her otherwise depressing white trash life. After Aragorn summons the Dead Men of Dunharrow to fight for him, he watches them scare away the Corsairs of Umbar from their ships at Pelargir. Smoove B, a smooth talking ladies' man who insists on the best of everything for his dates. In The Return of the King, he and Gimli accompany Aragorn on the Paths of the Dead, along with the Grey Company. Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable Supervisor, a white man with a boring desk job who speaks in gangsta rap-isms and ebonics. In the Battle of the Hornburg, he and Gimli engage in an Orc-slaying contest (Gimli wins by one with 42, but the real result is stronger mutual respect). He is similar to the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. They meet the revived Gandalf and the Rohirrim, fight in the Battle of the Hornburg, and witness Saruman's (partial) downfall at Isengard, where they are reunited with the two. Larry Groznic, an overweight geek with an obsession for subcultural fandoms. After Boromir is killed and Merry and Pippin are captured by Orcs in The Two Towers, he, Aragorn and Gimli set forth in pursuit of the two (Frodo the Ring-bearer and Sam had gone ahead on the road to Mordor). Jim Anchower, a slacker and stoner with a different job every few weeks, whose musical tastes are stuck in 1970s rock and roll. While the Fellowship is travelling over the River Anduin, he shoots down a nearby fell beast with one shot. Jackie Harvey was given his own blog. They take leave of Lothlórien, but not before recieving several gifts. A daily fictional stock market analysis titled "Stock Watch", a web opinion poll titled "QuickPoll", and "National News Highlights" of three regional stories, were added. Legolas and Gimli become friends, however, when Gimli greets the Lady of the Golden Wood with gentle words. "In the News" was retitled "From the Print Edition". Within the Fellowship, there is friction between Legolas and the dwarf Gimli, because of the ancient quarrel between Elves and Dwarves after the destruction of Doriath in the First Age, and also because his father, Thranduil, once threw Gimli's father, Glóin, in prison (as described in The Hobbit). "What Do You Think?" became "American Voices," with the question updated daily, and only three responders each day. Legolas serves as the initial spokesperson for the company, speaking with the inhabitants, the Galadhrim. Up until August 31, 2005, one of them was almost always a "systems analyst.". After Gandalf is lost while facing the Balrog, Aragorn takes charge of the Fellowship and leads them to the Elven realm of Lothlórien, the Golden Wood. "What Do You Think?", a survey showing photos of the same six people, although their names and professions change every week. Once in Moria, he helps fight off the Orcs whom they encounter there, and recognizes Durin's Bane as a Balrog of Morgoth. "In the News" photograph and caption with no accompanying story (such as "Frederick's of Anchorage Debuts Crotchless Long Underwear", "National Association Advances Colored Person"). Before they reach Moria, however, Legolas helps fend off an attack of Sauron's wolves. "The ONION in History": a front page produced in the look of newspapers of an earlier era, satirizing that earlier style and content (these are all taken from the book "Our Dumb Century"). After their attempt to cross Caradhras is foiled, their leader Gandalf takes them on an underground journey through Moria, an ancient Dwarf-kingdom, though some (including Legolas) do not wish to go there. Cynical horoscopes. Unlike them, he is little affected by the blowing winds and snow; he does not even wear boots, only light shoes, and his feet scarcely make imprints on the snow. Random and bizarre editorials. When the Fellowship is snowed down while crossing Caradhras, he scouts ahead to find the Sun, while Aragorn and Boromir drive a path through the snow. Point-Counterpoint. He accompanies the others in their travels from Rivendell to Amon Hen. "Infographic"), with a bulleted list of items on a theme. Legolas volunteers or is chosen to become one of the members of the Fellowship that sets out to destroy the One Ring. The "Infograph" (a.k.a. He is introduced in the first part of The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring, at the council of Elrond of Rivendell, where he comes as a messenger from his father to discuss the escape of Gollum from their guard. "STATshot", an illustrated statistical snapshot which parodies "USA Today Snapshots". Legolas is the son of King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm of Northern Mirkwood, who appears as "the Elvenking" in The Hobbit; his father rules over the Silvan Elves who dwell there. . Legolas serves as a link to the earlier story, The Hobbit, because he (like Gimli the Dwarf) is the son of a character from the previous tale. Tolkien himself states, however, that Legolas accomplishes the least of the nine members of the Fellowship. With his keen telescopic eyesight, sensitive hearing, and great skill at arms, particularly bowmanship, Legolas is a valuable resource to the other eight members of the Fellowship. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, Legolas Greenleaf is a Sindarin Elven prince who becomes a member of the Fellowship of the Ring. R. R. In J. |