This page will contain external links about the onion, as they become available.The OnionThe Onion is a parody newspaper published weekly in print and on the Internet. It contains satirical articles as well as a general entertainment section. As of May 2005 its print editions are distributed in Madison, Milwaukee, New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis-St. Paul, Denver/Boulder, and San Francisco. The Onion's articles comment on current events, both real and imagined (an example of the latter: "All Americans Issued Life Jackets for Some Reason"). It parodies traditional newspaper features and styles. The paper often reports on everyday events in a sensationalistic manner ("Area Man Confounded by Buffet Procedure"). Obsession with fame and celebrity are frequently satirized, as well as the general credulousness of the public. The second half of the newspaper is a non-satirical — but still often humorous — entertainment section called The A.V. Club that features interviews, reviews of various newly-released media, and other weekly features. The print edition also contains previews of upcoming live entertainment specific to cities where a print edition is published. The online incarnation of The A.V. Club has its own domain, includes its own regular features (including weekly sex advice column Savage Love), A.V. Club blogs and reader forums, and presents itself as an almost-separate entity from The Onion itself. Regular features of The Onion include:
The newspaper was revamped on August 31, 2005, which changed the layout of the website homepage. As well:
The staff of the Onion have also produced numerous books, including Our Dumb Century, Finest News Reporting, and Dispatches from the Tenth Circle. Both print and online editions of The Onion are published on Wednesdays. Reporters and editorsThe Onion's fictional editor is T. Herman Zweibel (Zwiebel is German for onion), who has "held the position since 1901" and is rather insane; the real editor is currently Scott Dikkers, the managing editor is Peter Koechley, and the current writing staff comprises Todd Hanson, Maria Schneider, John Krewson, Joe Garden, and Chris Karwowski, as well as the graphics work of Mike Loew and Chad Nackers. Past writers have included Max Cannon, Rich Dahm, Tim Harrod, David Javerbaum, Ben Karlin, Carol Kolb, Robert Siegel, and Jack Szwergold. Each issue features columns by (fictional) regular and guest writers. The regular contributors include:
HistoryThe Onion was founded in 1988 and originally published in Madison, Wisconsin by two juniors at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson; they sold it to colleagues the following year. The Onion remained a regional success until it began its website in 1996. A possible origin for its name is a mispronunciation of "The Union", which is a fairly common name for a legitimate paper. In early 2001, the company relocated its offices to New York City. As of 2004 the paper's founders are publishers of other weeklies: Keck of the Seattle weekly The Stranger and Johnson of Albuquerque's Weekly Alibi. In late August 2005, The Onion's companion website The Onion A.V. Club relaunched in a new design which presents the content as almost entirely discrete from The Onion itself. Simultaneously The Onion discontinued their Premium Service which charged readers a substantial fee for additional content and vintage archives. This brings The Onion back to the open state it was in prior to April 2004 when the restrictive move towards a Premium Service was first initiated. Awards and nominationsThe Onion's graphic for its coverage of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.The Onion's coverage of the September 11, 2001 attacks less than two weeks following the attacks was one of the earliest satirical reactions to those attacks, and was considered for a Pulitzer Prize. The Onion taken too seriouslyUpon occasion the straight-faced manner in which the Onion reports non-existent happenings has resulted in outside parties mistakenly citing Onion stories as real news. In 1998, controversial minister Fred Phelps posted the Onion article '98 Homosexual-recruitment drive nearing goal on his God Hates Fags website as proof that homosexuals were indeed actively trying to get straight people to join their ranks. Just after the 2000 U.S. Presidential election, when the future President remained undetermined, the Onion published a story titled Bush or Gore: "A New Era Dawns" which parodied the similarities between the two politicians. The noteworthiness of this story was largely a matter of luck: the paper went to press election night, before the contested election results which led to Bush v. Gore. As the recount process unfolded, the Onion published a satirical issue reporting chaos in America, in which Serbia sent peacekeepers to the U.S. to introduce democracy and protect their interests in the region, Bill Clinton declared himself "President for life.", Bob Dole was shot, and Tipper Gore was being held hostage. On June 7, 2002, Reuters reported that the Beijing Evening News republished, in the international news page of its June 3 edition, translated portions of Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built (they were apparently unaware of The Onion's satirical nature). The story discusses the U.S. Congress's threats to leave Washington for Memphis, Tennessee or Charlotte, North Carolina unless Washington, DC built them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome. The article is a parody of U.S. sports franchises' threats to leave their home city unless new stadiums are built for them. The Evening News is Beijing's most popular newspaper, claiming a circulation of 1.25 million. In late March 2004, Deborah Norville of MSNBC presented as genuine an article entitled Study: 58 Percent Of U.S. Exercise Televised. [1] Columnist Ellen Makkai and others who believe the Harry Potter books recruit children to Satanism have also been taken in by The Onion's satire, using quotes from an Onion article as evidence for their claims. [2] [3] Recently, an article from The Onion appeared on the 2005 Advanced Placement English Language and Composition test, in which students were asked to write an essay analyzing its use of satire.[4] Presidential Seal ControversyIn September 2005, the assistant counsel to President George W. Bush, Grant M. Dixton, wrote a cease and desist letter to The Onion, asking the paper to stop using the presidential seal, which is used in an online segment poking fun at the President through parodies of his weekly radio address. The law governing the Presidential Seal is contained in TITLE 18, 713 and contains the section:
This section would seem to allow the use of the presidential seal by The Onion. However, by Executive Order President Richard Nixon specifically enumerated the allowed uses of the Presidential Seal which is more restictive than the above title (Ex. Ord. No. 11649), but which allows for exceptions to be granted upon formal request. The Onion has responded with a letter asking for formal use of the Seal in accordance with the Executive Order, while still declaring that the use is legitimate under Title 18, 713. The letter written by Rochelle H. Klaskin, the Onion's lawyer, is quoted in the New York Times as saying "It is inconceivable that anyone would think that, by using the seal, The Onion intends to 'convey... sponsorship or approval' by the president," referring to Title 18, 713, but then went on to ask that the letter be considered a formal application asking for permission to use the seal. InfluencesIn 1978 National Lampoon released the book "National Lampoon's Sunday Newspaper Parody" which was edited by P.J. O'Rourke and John Hughes. The book was an issue of the fictional "Ohio Republican-Democrat," a tabloid style newspaper. The paper contained all the usual sections found in most major newspapers (classified ads, Sunday magazines, sports, local news, comics) satirized with the anarchistic Lampoon sense of humor. While it is unknown if this book directly inspired/influenced The Onion's founders, it certainly shares similarities. Also, the National Lampoon crew has had a lasting influence on most American humorists, so it is not unlikely that The Onion's founders and staff had been influenced by them (considering that National Lampoon grew out of the college humor publication Harvard Lampoon and that The Onion also began as a college humor magazine.) Another popular send-up of the news that pre-dates The Onion is the Weekend Update segment on Saturday Night Live. References to The Onion in popular cultureMAD Magazine ran a parody of The Onion called "The Bunion" in one issue. Books
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MAD Magazine ran a parody of The Onion called "The Bunion" in one issue. The next time that the monkey will appear as the zodiac sign will be in the year 2016. Another popular send-up of the news that pre-dates The Onion is the Weekend Update segment on Saturday Night Live. The Monkey is the ninth in the 12-year cycle of animals which appear in the Chinese zodiac related to the Chinese calendar. Also, the National Lampoon crew has had a lasting influence on most American humorists, so it is not unlikely that The Onion's founders and staff had been influenced by them (considering that National Lampoon grew out of the college humor publication Harvard Lampoon and that The Onion also began as a college humor magazine.). Terry Pratchett makes use of this trait in his Discworld novels, in which the Librarian of the Unseen University is an orangutan who gets very violent if referred to as a monkey. While it is unknown if this book directly inspired/influenced The Onion's founders, it certainly shares similarities. However, pop culture often incorrectly labels apes, particularly chimpanzees, gibbons, and gorillas, as monkeys. The paper contained all the usual sections found in most major newspapers (classified ads, Sunday magazines, sports, local news, comics) satirized with the anarchistic Lampoon sense of humor. The television series Monkey, the literary characters Monsieur Eek and Curious George are all examples. The book was an issue of the fictional "Ohio Republican-Democrat," a tabloid style newspaper. Monkeys are prevalent in numerous books, television programs, and movies. O'Rourke and John Hughes. Calling either a simian is correct. In 1978 National Lampoon released the book "National Lampoon's Sunday Newspaper Parody" which was edited by P.J. Calling apes monkeys is incorrect. sponsorship or approval' by the president," referring to Title 18, 713, but then went on to ask that the letter be considered a formal application asking for permission to use the seal. Note that the smallest grouping that contains them all is the Simiiformes, the simians, which also contains the apes. Klaskin, the Onion's lawyer, is quoted in the New York Times as saying "It is inconceivable that anyone would think that, by using the seal, The Onion intends to 'convey.. The following lists shows where the various monkey families (bolded) are placed in the Primate classification. The letter written by Rochelle H. Viktor Reinhardt, a former research veterinarian, wrote for the International Primate Protection League that: "the conditions I witnessed were so depressing that most monkeys had developed stereotypic behaviors such as pacing, rocking, bouncing, somersaulting, swaying from side to side, biting parts of their own bodies, pulling their ears, tossing their heads back and forth, or smearing feces on the cage walls." [3] [4] (mpg). The Onion has responded with a letter asking for formal use of the Seal in accordance with the Executive Order, while still declaring that the use is legitimate under Title 18, 713. Use of monkeys in laboratories is highly controversial with polarizing views. 11649), but which allows for exceptions to be granted upon formal request. Highly sociable animals, monkeys are kept in many different environments. No. In the United States, around 50,000 non-human primates, most of them monkeys, have been used in experiments every year since 1973 [2] (pdf); 10,000 monkeys were used in the European Union in 2004. Ord. Macaques and African green monkeys are widely used in animal testing facilities because of their relative ease of handling and their psychological and physical similarity to humans. However, by Executive Order President Richard Nixon specifically enumerated the allowed uses of the Presidential Seal which is more restictive than the above title (Ex. Permits may be issued to those who qualify in the caring of monkeys. This section would seem to allow the use of the presidential seal by The Onion. Their legal status as pets varies in other countries. Whoever knowingly displays any printed or other likeness of the great seal of the United States, or of the seals of the President or the Vice President of the United States, or the seal of the United States Senate, or the seal of the United States House of Representatives, or the seal of the United States Congress, or any facsimile thereof, in, or in connection with, any advertisement, poster, circular, book, pamphlet, or other publication, public meeting, play, motion picture, telecast, or other production, or on any building, monument, or stationery, for the purpose of conveying, or in a manner reasonably calculated to convey, a false impression of sponsorship or approval by the Government of the United States or by any department, agency, or instrumentality thereof, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both. (emphasis added). it is illegal to keep monkeys in the home; even in places where they are legal, a Department of Agriculture permit is usually required. The law governing the Presidential Seal is contained in TITLE 18, 713 and contains the section:. In most large metropolitan areas in the U.S. Dixton, wrote a cease and desist letter to The Onion, asking the paper to stop using the presidential seal, which is used in an online segment poking fun at the President through parodies of his weekly radio address. Some monkeys may even have special needs such as diets. Bush, Grant M. It becomes very costly when it comes to buying food and housing them. In September 2005, the assistant counsel to President George W. It is not cheap to bring up a monkey. Recently, an article from The Onion appeared on the 2005 Advanced Placement English Language and Composition test, in which students were asked to write an essay analyzing its use of satire.[4]. It might be bad for the monkey to place them in non-social areas which could lead to problems. [2] [3]. Monkeys need to be placed in social areas. Columnist Ellen Makkai and others who believe the Harry Potter books recruit children to Satanism have also been taken in by The Onion's satire, using quotes from an Onion article as evidence for their claims. It is not easy for a monkey to get used to their new environment. [1]. Monkeys are known to get attached to their first owner so switching from one to another would not be a good idea. Exercise Televised. While a majority of monkey owners find other homes for them, such as zoos and monkey rescues, some people report having long and rewarding relationships with monkeys. In late March 2004, Deborah Norville of MSNBC presented as genuine an article entitled Study: 58 Percent Of U.S. They can change from one minute to the next without warning making it hard for the owner to fully understand them. The Evening News is Beijing's most popular newspaper, claiming a circulation of 1.25 million. The monkeys may also become aggressive even to their owners. sports franchises' threats to leave their home city unless new stadiums are built for them. The nice looking monkey eventually has to grow up and may in most cases become wild and not easy to control. The article is a parody of U.S. Any surgical means to stem this behavior (such as removing the teeth or fingertips of the monkey) is widely considered cruel, and it is usually difficult to find veterinarians who will treat them: even exotic-animal veterinarians may not be familiar with them. Congress's threats to leave Washington for Memphis, Tennessee or Charlotte, North Carolina unless Washington, DC built them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome. Most adolescent monkeys begin to bite unpredictably and pinch adults and children. The story discusses the U.S. There needs to be a lot of time set aside for cleaning up whatever mess the monkey might make. Unless New Capitol Is Built (they were apparently unaware of The Onion's satirical nature). Bored monkeys can become extremely destructive and may even go so far as to smear or throw their own feces. On June 7, 2002, Reuters reported that the Beijing Evening News republished, in the international news page of its June 3 edition, translated portions of Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Monkeys can not handle being away from their owners for long periods of time, such as family trips for example, due to their need of attention. to introduce democracy and protect their interests in the region, Bill Clinton declared himself "President for life.", Bob Dole was shot, and Tipper Gore was being held hostage. They usually require a large amount of attention. As the recount process unfolded, the Onion published a satirical issue reporting chaos in America, in which Serbia sent peacekeepers to the U.S. They require constant supervision and mental stimulation. Gore. While baby monkeys are usually as easy to keep clean as a human infant (by diapering), monkeys that have reached puberty usually remove their diapers and cannot be toilet trained. The noteworthiness of this story was largely a matter of luck: the paper went to press election night, before the contested election results which led to Bush v. Although they may appear to be nice and friendly and can resemble human babies for some people, many people believe that monkeys should not be kept as, or seen as, pets. Presidential election, when the future President remained undetermined, the Onion published a story titled Bush or Gore: "A New Era Dawns" which parodied the similarities between the two politicians. It is rumoured that one such monkey washed up ashore and, being mistaken for a Frenchman, was hanged in Hartlepool, England this caused the people of Hartlepool to be nicknamed the monkey hangers. Just after the 2000 U.S. In the Napoleonic Wars, the same practice is thought to have occurred. In 1998, controversial minister Fred Phelps posted the Onion article '98 Homosexual-recruitment drive nearing goal on his God Hates Fags website as proof that homosexuals were indeed actively trying to get straight people to join their ranks. Some were later kept in zoos, many modern captive monkeys in the UK are descended from such Victorian era monkeys. Upon occasion the straight-faced manner in which the Onion reports non-existent happenings has resulted in outside parties mistakenly citing Onion stories as real news. When the British first began to explore Africa, young monkeys were often captured and taken back on board the ship to entertain sailors. The Onion's coverage of the September 11, 2001 attacks less than two weeks following the attacks was one of the earliest satirical reactions to those attacks, and was considered for a Pulitzer Prize. . This brings The Onion back to the open state it was in prior to April 2004 when the restrictive move towards a Premium Service was first initiated. The word Moneke may have been derived from the Italian monna, which means "a female ape." The name Moneke persisted over time likely due to the popularity of Reynard the Fox. Simultaneously The Onion discontinued their Premium Service which charged readers a substantial fee for additional content and vintage archives. In this version of the fable, a character named Moneke is the son of Martin the Ape. Club relaunched in a new design which presents the content as almost entirely discrete from The Onion itself. The name monkey may come from a German version of the Reynard the Fox fable, published in around 1580. In late August 2005, The Onion's companion website The Onion A.V. To understand the monkeys, therefore, it is necessary to study the characteristics of the different groups individually. As of 2004 the paper's founders are publishers of other weeklies: Keck of the Seattle weekly The Stranger and Johnson of Albuquerque's Weekly Alibi. Although both the New and Old World monkeys, like the apes, have forward facing eyes, the faces of Old World and New World monkeys look very different though again, each group shares some features such as the types of noses, cheeks and rumps. In early 2001, the company relocated its offices to New York City. Some characteristics are shared among the groups; most New World monkeys have prehensile tails while Old World monkeys do not; some have trichromatic colour vision like that of humans, others are dichromats or monochromats. A possible origin for its name is a mispronunciation of "The Union", which is a fairly common name for a legitimate paper. Some are arboreal (living in trees), some live on the savanna; diets differ among the various species but may contain any of the following: fruit, leaves, seeds, nuts, flowers, insects, spiders, eggs and small animals. The Onion remained a regional success until it began its website in 1996. Monkeys range in size from the Pygmy Marmoset, at 10 cm (4 inch) long (plus tail) and 120 g (4 oz) in weight to the male Mandrill, almost 1 metre (3 ft) long and weighing 35 kg (75 lb). The Onion was founded in 1988 and originally published in Madison, Wisconsin by two juniors at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson; they sold it to colleagues the following year. Because they are not a single coherent group, monkeys do not have any important characteristics that they all share and are not shared with the remaining group of simians, the apes. The regular contributors include:. Also, a few monkey species have the word "ape" in their common name. Each issue features columns by (fictional) regular and guest writers. Because of their similarity to monkeys, apes such as chimpanzees and gibbons are sometimes incorrectly called monkeys. Past writers have included Max Cannon, Rich Dahm, Tim Harrod, David Javerbaum, Ben Karlin, Carol Kolb, Robert Siegel, and Jack Szwergold. These two groupings are the New World and Old World monkeys of which together there are nearly 200 species. Herman Zweibel (Zwiebel is German for onion), who has "held the position since 1901" and is rather insane; the real editor is currently Scott Dikkers, the managing editor is Peter Koechley, and the current writing staff comprises Todd Hanson, Maria Schneider, John Krewson, Joe Garden, and Chris Karwowski, as well as the graphics work of Mike Loew and Chad Nackers. A monkey is any member of two of the three groupings of simian primates. The Onion's fictional editor is T. The Problem with Pet Monkeys. . Inside the monkey house at Covance, shot undercover by the British Union for the Abolition of Vivisection. Both print and online editions of The Onion are published on Wednesdays. "The Impossible Housing and Handling Conditions of Monkeys in Research Laboratories", by Viktor Reinhardt, International Primate Protection League, August 2001. The staff of the Onion have also produced numerous books, including Our Dumb Century, Finest News Reporting, and Dispatches from the Tenth Circle. Family Hominidae: humans and other great apes. As well:. Family Hylobatidae: gibbons ("lesser apes"). The newspaper was revamped on August 31, 2005, which changed the layout of the website homepage. Superfamily Hominoidea
Club blogs and reader forums, and presents itself as an almost-separate entity from The Onion itself. Superfamily Cercopithecoidea
Club that features interviews, reviews of various newly-released media, and other weekly features. Family Aotidae: night monkeys, owl monkeys, douroucoulis. The second half of the newspaper is a non-satirical — but still often humorous — entertainment section called The A.V. Family Cebidae: marmosets, tamarins, capuchins and squirrel monkeys. Obsession with fame and celebrity are frequently satirized, as well as the general credulousness of the public. Platyrrhini: New World monkeys
It parodies traditional newspaper features and styles. Family Tarsiidae: tarsiers. The Onion's articles comment on current events, both real and imagined (an example of the latter: "All Americans Issued Life Jackets for Some Reason"). Infraorder Tarsiiformes
It contains satirical articles as well as a general entertainment section. ORDER PRIMATES
and Them": The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives Volume 14 (2003, ISBN 140004961X). "Relations Break Down Between U.S. The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives Volume 13 (2002, ISBN 1400047242). Dispatches from the Tenth Circle: The Best of The Onion (2001, ISBN 0609808346). The Onion's Finest News Reporting, Volume 1 (2000, ISBN 0609804634). Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source (1999, ISBN 0609804618). Gorzo the Mighty, the Emperor of the Universe, villain in the style of 1930s science fiction. Jackie Harvey, a ridiculously uninformed media critic who writes the column The Outside Scoop. Jean Teasdale, an overweight nerdish woman with kitsch tastes, whose constantly upbeat attitude always finds the bright side of her otherwise depressing white trash life. Smoove B, a smooth talking ladies' man who insists on the best of everything for his dates. Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable Supervisor, a white man with a boring desk job who speaks in gangsta rap-isms and ebonics. He is similar to the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. Larry Groznic, an overweight geek with an obsession for subcultural fandoms. Jim Anchower, a slacker and stoner with a different job every few weeks, whose musical tastes are stuck in 1970s rock and roll. Jackie Harvey was given his own blog. A daily fictional stock market analysis titled "Stock Watch", a web opinion poll titled "QuickPoll", and "National News Highlights" of three regional stories, were added. "In the News" was retitled "From the Print Edition". "What Do You Think?" became "American Voices," with the question updated daily, and only three responders each day. Up until August 31, 2005, one of them was almost always a "systems analyst.". "What Do You Think?", a survey showing photos of the same six people, although their names and professions change every week. "In the News" photograph and caption with no accompanying story (such as "Frederick's of Anchorage Debuts Crotchless Long Underwear", "National Association Advances Colored Person"). "The ONION in History": a front page produced in the look of newspapers of an earlier era, satirizing that earlier style and content (these are all taken from the book "Our Dumb Century"). Cynical horoscopes. Random and bizarre editorials. Point-Counterpoint. "Infographic"), with a bulleted list of items on a theme. The "Infograph" (a.k.a. "STATshot", an illustrated statistical snapshot which parodies "USA Today Snapshots". |